After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
