So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
