She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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