My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
