"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize