Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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