oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
