her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
