whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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