I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just found a bag of teeth...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
