Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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