dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
