is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
