I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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