I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
