Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
