You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
