Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
