Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
