I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize