new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
