Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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