you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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