My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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