this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
