hell yes lets make some ravioli
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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