What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
