i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Come on in and take your pants off
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