My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
