Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
