Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
