So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
