How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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