you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also, beer. Big fan.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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