ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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