Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
