Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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