Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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