yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
