Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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