Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize