yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
