Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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