Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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