if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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