redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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