idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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