I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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