I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
