Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
