You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
