In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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