you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
