There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
