Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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