After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
