So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
