if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize