Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
