So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
