your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
