ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
