I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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