Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
