I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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