Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
