So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
