does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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