So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think my vagina is haunted
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
