i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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