Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
