Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
