No subtext here. People are naked.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
