No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
