i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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