I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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