This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
